Why it is so difficult for us to change our lives and what we can do about it. I'll tell you how I felt when the big change was just around the corner.
In quiet moments or when we are alone, we become aware of it. If we actively listen to our inner voice, allow thoughts and feelings, then it comes up: this feeling of dissatisfaction. Something is missing in life or something just isn't going the way it should. It occupies you more and more and you realize that you are not feeling well inside. Do you feel restless and unhappy? These feelings are a warning signal of the soul and therefore:
It´s time for a change!
Yes, I know that we are all afraid of change and that it is difficult for us to strive for change. Here are the reasons why:
1. We are creatures of habit and like to stay the same.
The old is familiar to us and also safe. They are routines that we have lived for a long time and that we can rely on. We all crave habit and security. But if everything were so great and perfect, then we wouldn't feel any dissatisfaction. The old and its routines were good enough for a while, but sometimes it's time for something new. For new routines that should be more appropriate to your current phase of life.
You may be wondering how it was for me and I am sure that from the outside everything seemed easier than it was. I thought about it for a long time and was often afraid of the new and the changes. But at the same time I knew that I urgently needed a change because I was missing something in life. I realized that if I at least don't take the risk and try, then in a few years I will still be sitting there unhappily, living into everyday life, doing the same thing day in and day out...
2. Change also means saying goodbye
Change sometimes also means that we have to separate: from people, things, places, etc. At least from something that has become part of our lives. But we also have to realize that we go through different phases of life in our lives. Maybe now is the time for a new phase of life - or as I like to call it: for a new chapter in life.
Attitudes, desires and priorities change. Life shouldn't be monotonous and we all still strive for a fulfilling life. That we can develop further, grow and learn new things. And all of this comes with change.
I realized that I wanted more out of life. That I want to learn new things, want to work on myself and want to discover more of the world. I knew that there was still so much out there that I wanted to experience and above all I knew that life had much more to offer. But if I do the same thing every day, don't make any progress or change anything, then I won't be able to live my life the way I want to. Then I won't be able to seize the opportunities that are waiting for me out there. And then I will miss many beautiful moments that I could have experienced.
Life means changes!
3. We don't want to leave the comfort zone
For us, changes often mean challenges and taking risks. But if you dare, you often have to take risks. This is exactly the same as with the topic of "financing": if you want a higher return, then you have to take a higher risk. And that's how it is in life: if you want progress and more from life, then you have to take a risk or two.
The unknown brings uncertainty and we are afraid of it. We cannot look into the future and do not know whether we are making the right decisions and whether we are going in the right direction. But one thing we do know: if we don't try, we'll never know. And every path, no matter how it ends, will make us richer in experiences.
I too have often suffered from the uncertainty and the associated fears. Oh how many times I've cried and wondered if it's the right thing. But my inner voice assured me that I urgently need a change in my life. If not now then when??
It will be easier for you that way!
1. Recognize your situation
First of all, you should be aware of how you are feeling at the moment. Deal with the aspects that make you unhappy. Look the naked truth in the face. Feelings, fears and desires should no longer be ignored.
In my case it was like this: "I'm not happy with my current life situation. I feel uncomfortable, stressed and have a job that I don't enjoy. I live in a beautiful city but I know that I'm also a part of my life in my second home!"
2. Set goals & think of a roadmap
Make yourself aware of what needs to change in order to achieve your goals. In my case, it quickly became clear: I had to quit my job and would like to relocate the center of my life to Turkey for at least a year. My goal was to take a year off abroad. Based on my goal, I came up with a roadmap and visualized my milestones. The associated decisions were made step by step so that I could get a little closer to my goal every time.
Don't put any pressure on yourself, because every step, no matter how small, is better than no step at all! Plans help to get security and to keep an overview. Milestones help you to plan your way to the goal. If a goal seems too big for you, make smaller sub-goals.
3. Make the decision
Do you know what helped me? I decided to go this route and then made it "public". At that time I sealed my decision with the "ice bathing in the Danube". With this action, my decision to make this big change was rock solid and I knew I would go through with it. So I made friends with my decision and then always stood behind my decision. I started talking to friends about it and no matter what I was told, I stood by my decision.
If I hadn't sealed my decision and spoken it out loud, it certainly wouldn't have been such a rock-solid roadmap. I might have let myself be unsettled or might even have let my path be specified!
So be self-confident with YOUR decision! You know best what you need and what is necessary for you now. You know best which way you want to go. Stand by your decision and say it out loud!
4. Start today!
If you've realized that you need a change, start today! Like I said, it doesn't have to be a big step. But do you know what to do after you've finished reading the post? Take your laptop or a piece of paper and pen and write down what you would like to change. Take notes and think about to-dos for tomorrow.
I would like to give you one more thing: I know that life can often be difficult and that you often don't have the strength to change. But life can be so beautiful! It's your choice how you want to live your life! It lies in your hand! Reach for the luck and the opportunities out there! Get up and overcome! The first step will be the hardest, but once the stone rolls it will be easier! There will definitely be ups and downs and you will definitely face one or two challenges, but the bottom line is that you will be better off than if you went on with your life unhappily and bleakly. Instead of dreaming, live your dreams! If others can do it, you will too!
I believe in you!
Saskia Berrin
"Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions." - Dalai Lama